I read this story today in Common Prayer: A Liturgy For Ordinary Radicals. I haven’t found a better one to sum up where I’m at in my journey right now.
“Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said to him, ‘Abba, as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?’ Then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire and he said to him, ‘If you will, you can become all flame.’ ”
I think I’m in the same place as your thoughts above; trying to think through the spirituality, the scripture, the current lack of formal worship and how I get back into that on a meaningful as opposed to parochial/mundane/required way.
Meanwhile trying to do all the good I can, as much of the time as I can. Best keith
It is so tough, right, unless you have people who are also willing to “become all flame” with you!